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Drinking Together


March 2013


Recently fellow Peace Corps Volunteer Tom Barnes stopped in my community, Piedras Gordas, on his way back from Panamá City.  When Tom arrived I invited my three closest friends, Pedro (25 yrs.), Yarineth (32 yrs.), and Alexander (30 yrs.), to come over to my house in the evening to meet Tom and drink a few beers.  Yarineth, Pedro, and Alexander are all members of our waste management group, and frequently come to my house to talk about work or just to hangout.  The three get along with one another very well, but I have noticed that when we are drinking Pedro always tries to separate himself from Yarineth.  He often stays in a different room, or tries to isolate me in conversation.  Recently Yarineth and I had had a conversation about how frustrating it is at times that there is a double standard for men and women in Panamá when it comes to drinking.  So, that evening when I noticed Pedro separating himself from the group I commented to Tom that I was going to make an effort to have Pedro hangout with all of us.  After a little subtle coaxing from Tom and I, Pedro came out on the porch with the rest of us. 

An hour or so later Yarineth started to talk about how much she appreciated my friendship because it has allowed her to become friends with new people (Alexander and Pedro being two of them), and that when we are all together she doesn't feel like she's being treated differently just because she is a girl.  This sparked an interesting conversation between Pedro and Yarineth.  Pedro said that for quite some time he was uncomfortable drinking around Yarineth (something he had never admitted to me), because he is "married" and Yarineth is a single mother. He continued by saying that our time together has made him much more comfortable around having a beer with Yarineth.  He also said that he has begun to reconsider his original opinion about sharing a drink with women and allowing them to drink with men.  Yarineth seemed very pleased upon hearing this and thanked Pedro for sharing that with her.  Their comments led into a larger conversation about gender roles in the United States and Panamá. 

Although I didn't do anything directly change Pedro's opinion, being friends with him and Yarineth has allowed them to build a friendship and has opened his eyes to a new point of view.  The next morning Tom and I talked about cool it was to see that just sharing a few beers among friends can make such a big change in the world views of our community members. 

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