March 2013
Recently fellow Peace Corps Volunteer Tom Barnes stopped in
my community, Piedras Gordas, on his way back from Panamá City. When Tom arrived I invited my three
closest friends, Pedro (25 yrs.), Yarineth (32 yrs.), and Alexander (30 yrs.),
to come over to my house in the evening to meet Tom and drink a few beers. Yarineth, Pedro, and Alexander are all
members of our waste management group, and frequently come to my house to talk
about work or just to hangout. The
three get along with one another very well, but I have noticed that when we are
drinking Pedro always tries to separate himself from Yarineth. He often stays in a different room, or
tries to isolate me in conversation.
Recently Yarineth and I had had a conversation about how frustrating it
is at times that there is a double standard for men and women in Panamá when it
comes to drinking. So, that
evening when I noticed Pedro separating himself from the group I commented to
Tom that I was going to make an effort to have Pedro hangout with all of us. After a little subtle coaxing from Tom
and I, Pedro came out on the porch with the rest of us.
An hour or so later Yarineth started to talk about how much
she appreciated my friendship because it has allowed her to become friends with
new people (Alexander and Pedro being two of them), and that when we are all
together she doesn't feel like she's being treated differently just because she
is a girl. This sparked an
interesting conversation between Pedro and Yarineth. Pedro said that for quite some time he was uncomfortable
drinking around Yarineth (something he had never admitted to me), because he is
"married" and Yarineth is a single mother. He continued by saying
that our time together has made him much more comfortable around having a beer
with Yarineth. He also said that
he has begun to reconsider his original opinion about sharing a drink with
women and allowing them to drink with men. Yarineth seemed very pleased upon hearing this and thanked
Pedro for sharing that with her.
Their comments led into a larger conversation about gender roles in the
United States and Panamá.
Although I didn't do anything directly change Pedro's
opinion, being friends with him and Yarineth has allowed them to build a
friendship and has opened his eyes to a new point of view. The next morning Tom and I talked about
cool it was to see that just sharing a few beers among friends can make such a
big change in the world views of our community members.
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